Granny Panties

When I was young, I thought 40 was old. Now that I am in my 40’s I still think it’s old…just not that old. My body no longer does what I want it to do and my mind is not as sharp as it use to be. Foods I like I can no longer eat because they don’t sit well with me anymore and if I plan on doing any type of out of the normal activity I better cancel any plans I have afterwards because I will need a few days to recover. In my mind I am still young but can someone tell my body that because it has no idea!

When did I get old? Just yesterday I was swinging on the swings in the back yard with my dad pushing me as high as I could go. The day before that I was skateboarding off of homemade ramps in the middle of the street with the neighborhood boys. The other night my sister and I got into a huge fight because I wanted to watch The Hardy Boys and she wanted to watch M.A.S.H. Now I am a mother and grandmother of two with bills, responsibilities and too many aches and pains. Did we pay the electric bill? When is the phone bill due? We need to go to the grocery store and get dog food. Is there enough milk? Does anyone know where the Advil is? Yikes…I grew up!

Am I really suppose to have all the answers because I don’t! Did I miss a class somewhere in my 20’s or 30’s that was suppose to help me with this time in my life? Did I not get the memo? My body has betrayed me. It can be 30 degrees out and I’m hot! Not a normal hot but a heat that comes from so far inside me I feel as if I am about to boil over! The heater is set at 68 degrees in the bedrooms but I will sleep in the living room with the door open and still be warm! Foods that I enjoyed before will now make me break out in hives, give me heartburn or cause me to stay close to the bathroom! If I get out of bed wrong my back will lock up and I will be in pain for days! Let’s not talk about the wrinkles…oh those darn wrinkles! Where did they come from? When did they sneak up on me? And why did they bring their friends, the gray hairs? It’s just too much!

But you know what? One trip to the mall or a post on Facebook from a young person makes me dance in my granny panties with gratitude for my old age! Have you seen the young people out there? Boys with sagging skinny jeans and hair the covers their face. 12 year old girls with the body of 20 years old walking around the mall half naked with more makeup than face. Young people constantly complaining about how their lives suck because their boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t call them that day or they can’t go out and hang with their friends because they have to do chores. 9 year old with Iphones and Kindles and 500 friends on Facebook. I look around and am disgusted most of the time. What happened to our children? What happened to my generation that would make them allow that type of behavior? Yup, I am old!

I sound like my mother! I never understood her until now. I always said she didn’t understand me and it was true. I think we get to an age where we aren’t suppose to understand. I think we have a certain amount of time to instill morals and values into our children and hope they can some how pull that out of themselves when they get older. My mother use to tell me I should listen to her because she knew what she was saying but I never believed her. I believe her now. I understand her frustration now. It’s funny how we don’t get it until we get older. I wish now I had listened and taken her advice. Maybe it’s just something we need to learn on our own.

So with aches and pains, hot flashes and granny panties I take up my torch as an old lady proudly. I will grumble and complain and never understand this generation. I will stick to foods that agree with me and I will roll my eyes when I see young boys in sagging skinny jeans or girls with words like “Juicy” on the butt of their sweats. I will cringe when I hear disrespectful young ladies and crude young men. I will proudly purchase hair dye, and spend an outrageous amount of money on anit-wrinkle creams. I will not be ashamed to buy Activia or lactose free milk. And I will hold my head high when I forego the sexy lingerie and go straight to the flannel jammies! I am, after all, a well seasoned old lady!